Day 6

A setback.

Today I woke up early to move the car, made a pot of tea and sat down at the computer to enter my time. The network rejected my password and wouldn't let me into webmail, either. There was some maintenance conducted on our server over the weekend, but it should have been complete. And maintenance didn't explain my password's sudden impotence.

Then it hit me. I'd been feeling the vaguest hints of a urinary track infection for a day or two. And it had arrived. I am for some reason susceptible, though they generally are associated with getting laid (which I haven't lately). Weak, feverish and utterly defeated, I went back to bed. The boy got up and amused himself in the living room with his legos while I slept. Just after 9:00, I dragged myself up to feed him breakfast and take him to school, quite late and self-dressed in red from head to toe (he looked quite impish). I'd left a message for my boss to say that I was running a fever and would be in later if things perked up.

I came home and went back to bed. For hours. Perhaps it was the disappointing raise and bonus news I'd received the week before, but I just couldn't be bothered to do much more than monitor my email and play scrabble with a friend all day. I did start feeling better by the afternoon, the heavy dose of cranberry extract doing its job, but I couldn't get myself into the office. This is weird because I did go back to the office a week ago Friday after supervising movers all afternoon, and that was before the Lexapro.

Maybe the UTI was bad enough to keep me home. But I'm worried (because that's what I do) that I was better at managing my life through brute force and willpower, which the drug has dampened. I'll talk to my therapist about it tomorrow, but the dullness I've felt since last week and today's attack of malaise certainly don't seem like good signs to me.